Father's Day
6:06 PM
Father's Day
First and foremost, I would like to wish all of the fathers in the world a happy Father's Day. For those of you as men who stand up and actively serve as a parent in a child's life, get a big gold sticker in my book of manly things. This role alone gives you a priceless title on your man card. For the men who turn away and fail to meet the requirements of being a parent and would rather choose a path of ignorance, neglect, crime, and carelessness, I revoke your man card.
Every year this holiday comes about where families can get together and praise their fathers and grandfathers for doing an amazing job at being who they are. We celebrate their victories, the battles they fought in, the memories we share with them and we commend them for all of the hard work they've done to parent their children and take care of their families. This is a holiday that I've never personally celebrated. I mean, sure, our family gets together every year to celebrate my grandfather and my uncles, but the holiday isn't the same for my mom, my sister and I than it is for everyone else in my family. My father was not the greatest of people and to this day I can't imagine he's in a very good place knowing the path in life he chose to take. Growing up fatherless was kind of heartbreaking in some instances and honestly unnoticeable in others. I never really think about having a father, being fatherless or thinking about the man who helped my mother create me, except for... Father's Day.
In school we were always given small activities to take part in to give to our parents. Sometimes we even had the option to bring our parents into school to showcase who they were, what kind of job they had, etc... I'm pretty sure it was just a way to get us to smile because our parents could be there to spend a little time with us and to inspire us to think about what we wanted to do when we grew up and became adults. I never really participated in this. In fact, most of the kids in my classroom didn't. Most of our parents couldn't request the time off to come into class, babble for a few minutes, eat lunch with us and then return to work or have the rest of the day off. There were usually stay at home moms or fathers who owned their own business. I didn't really care about not being able to participate because if I were an adult, I imagine it would have been really boring and that time could be better spent doing other things, like getting paid.
Growing up without a father wasn't really hard, it just always felt like there was a small void in my life that nobody could fill or replace. I want to thank my uncles for doing the best job that they could to serve as uncles and fathers and brothers to me. They always made sure that my cousins and I had a good time when we were with them and whenever a situation came up where we needed a father to fill a role, they were there to help out. House work, life lessons, financial situations etc... our family was tightly knit and so these things were easily done between families. So, even though I didn't have a dad, my uncles portrayed the father figure for me and that made things pretty good throughout life.
At times I think about how it sucks not having a father. I mean, I'm glad that my father isn't in my life because of the way he is, but it just sucks sometimes not having a father. Right now marriage isn't a topic of interest but should I ever come across the act of marriage, who would walk me down the aisle? I mean, my choices are simple. I would pick one of my uncles. But which would I pick? All of them are important to me and I love them equally. I wouldn't want to hurt any ones feelings by choosing one over the other. So what am I to do? I could always have a wedding where I have nobody walk me down the aisle. Another instance where having a father was probably needed in my life was during the times where I would have my teenage moments. Teenage moments are the moments where you act like a royal douche to your family for really no reason. You know, the times where they ask you to complete a simple task in a reasonable time frame and you avoid to heed their words and then you get pissed off at them for yelling at you for not following their orders. Times when you bear an attitude because you didn't get something your way, when you know that they're doing things in the best interest of what's best for the family or when you lack appreciation for the things that they buy you. I mean back then I didn't grasp that concept but now when I see teenagers they are such cuntbags. Excuse my french, but seriously that's what they are. I mean, when my mom bought me a super nintendo, I was ecstatic. I felt like I was in a world of infinity. Now you see kids with their ipods, iphones, xbox and ps3 and they bitch about how it's not good enough. Like seriously, pipe the fuck down. Your life does not suck. I honestly don't think anyone in the United States can say their life sucks. Even the most hygiene-deprived, financially unstable person living on the streets has a better life than some of the people in other countries across the world.
Another reason why not having a dad in my life stinks is because I didn't have a father to discipline me. My mom did a great job at taking care of me but mothers and fathers parent differently. They might share the same values and principles, but their methods will usually be different slightly. I've always been a girl who had friends that were guys, always had a boyfriend, always leaned towards the masculine activities and scenes. I think this is mostly due to the fact that I didn't have a father or any brothers and maybe just my personality and the way I think about things. I don't know for sure, but that's my guess. I hang around males because my life lacked males. I didn't have a dad to protect me or give me advice on how to manage and handle guys. I didn't have anyone to tell me which guys I should consider and aim for and which ones to avoid. Like I said, my mom did a great job trying to balance everything on one plate, but like I said, fathers and mothers bring different things to the table that each other can't provide no matter how hard they try. Many people may disagree with me, and that's fine, but I think for those of you who are like me and grew up without one parent or the other, you can relate and understand and hopefully agree.
So while everyone is celebrating their fathers and their grandfathers I just treat as another day to sweep by like a cloud in the sky. I tend to not take much notice to the festivity because I have no reason to really celebrate it anymore. I mean I like to see my family and if that's a reason to see them, then that's awesome but on a personal level by myself, there's really nothing for me to celebrate. I don't have a father in my life, never have, never will and my grandfather died when I was 5 years old. So because I don't have these people in my life actively, I tend to not really show any concern, care or interest in the holiday at all. Everyone around me is excited to purchase cakes, electronics, balloons, colognes and fancy dinners and I just go about my every day life like it doesn't even matter.
While I don't personally celebrate this holiday, I have it in myself to at least give praise to the men and the fathers and grandfathers who played their roles. Whether having children was intended or by surprise if you were a guy who made a commitment to stay and raise that child, to watch it grow, to love it and nurture it from birth to adult hood, I give praise to you and I applaud you for being a man. I imagine it takes a lot of work to take care of a baby especially if you had to do so at a young age on a tight budget. I hope that your perspective on being a parent went from being a burden/hassle to being an amazing gift and blessing. If you are a parent, please show the respect and love your children and grandchildren deserve. Make it an oath to provide for them and be the best parent you can be. Children, if you have your parents with you, please show them the love and respect that they deserve for taking care of you the best they know how. Some of us do not have parents and would give anything to have them. Some people lost their parents due to unfortunate events and I am terribly sorry that children are ripped away from their parents due to diseases, financial situations, divorce etc... for those parents who had to play mother and father, I commend you for being strong and being able to take on a heavy task.
Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers, grandparents and mothers who played a fatherly role.
I personally want to thank my uncles for being there for me to help provide fatherly love when it was needed.
If you are planning to become a father, please do not leave your children fatherless.
If you are planning to become a mother, please do not leave your children motherless.
Thanks for reading,
~ Kyrae
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