In 10 Years
2:33 PM
In 10 Years
I think we can all recall a time where someone has asked us, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" I also think that none of us every really took the question seriously, or believed that our answer would come true.
I remember in high school my student teacher in my English class wanted us to keep a journal. Every week she would give us a small topic to reflect on or discuss. Sometimes these would be generic questions for her to learn what our interests were and other questions were either related to classroom curriculum or mature life oriented questions to get us to poke into our future a bit. I remember at the time she asked us where do we see ourselves in 5 years. I made a detailed post on how I wanted to graduate high school, go to college and either become a famous artist or do something computer related. When the time came, I graduated as planned and as I threw the hat off, no sooner did that long awaited summer vacation start, college was only 15 days away from beginning. Unlike most students, my college was really not much different than high school. The only difference was that my classes were all related to one major topic, digital art. My whole life I knew I wanted to go to college. I wanted this future for myself because I understood that most quality jobs require some higher form of education, plus it just looks really pleasant to see on your resume. Aside from that, hardly anyone in my family managed to go to college. I took pride in being one of few people who made it to college. So with college being the prime feature of my life in 2008, I had to quickly decide what I wanted to do. The tech/trade school, I guess you could call it, offered different types of fields to go into and I was a toss up between IT/Networking or Digital Art. I chose Digital Art without much hesitation. I mean, I had spent my whole life... literally, my whole life devoting myself to art and everything in between. Why didn't I go to an art school then? Well, that's a long story.
You see, when I was a toddler my mom would put me to bed and I would stay up in the middle of the night with a pad of paper and a pen or pencil or anything that could write, for that matter, and I would doodle and scribble until eventually I was sleepy enough to engage in slumber. I'm not sure how long this lasted for, but I imagine it lasted until I started kindergarten. Here, we were constantly encouraged to explore creativity and engage in activities and crafts. While most kids wanted snack, nap time, recess, stories etc... I wanted to get my hands messy in glitter and doodle all over construction paper. It was my passion, my drug, my release. Throughout elementary school and middle school, art class was the only class I enjoyed. I remember we alternated the elective classes throughout the week. Some days we would have health, gym and art class. If I had the option I would have avoided gym and health and just spent every day in art class, but sadly that wasn't an option at that age. So all week I would await the days I would have art class. I remember highlighting them in my little daily homework planner that the give you every year. In classes that incorporated small art projects and crafts to guide us through a lesson or if we had to present a physical project to the class, I made it an effort to be as creative and artsy as possible. While my teachers praised me, my classmates mocked me. They didn't think art was stupid or pointless, they hated the effort I put into the minor projects. I don't want to come off as egotistical or stuck up, but I think they were just jealous because my projects always looked clean, precise, symmetrical and beautiful. I could make a Venn diagram look like a Picasso, is what I'm saying.
Eventually in middle school it got to the point where kids who lacked the artistic abilities or the desire to excel in school would bribe me with being friends, giving me gum, or even letting me sit at their lunch table, if I did their project for them or helped them with it. I was comfortable with being an outcast/loner in school, and I always kindly turned their offers down. I didn't need to sit at a particular table to eat my lunch. I didn't care if someone was friends with me because I knew for a fact that as soon as the project is done, they would go back to acting like I didn't exist. I didn't need gum because I was always the kid who had gum and everyone wanted to mooch. I mean gum isn't that expensive, if you can afford $80 Nike shoes, you can get your own fucking Juicy Fruit. Just sayin.
Because I avoided extending any amount of help to my classmates in their projects, I also got the title of being a bitch once. I remember this latino girl named Keisha who wanted me to let her use my markers for her project instead of using the classroom markers that everyone had to share. It's not that I didn't want to share my personal belongings with other people, I just didn't want my belongings to be destroyed in the process. When I observe my classmates, I see how they treat the school property. They don't give a flying fuck about the quality of the textbooks, markers, desks etc... why the hell would I put the things my mom bought for me in jeopardy with these careless animals. So she ended up causing a scene. I'm not racist or anything but in my area the latino/black kids were so quick to start fights and drama over the dumbest shit. I just kind of sat their and ignored her while she talked about me. Eventually the teacher told her to literally shut up and sit down and get back to work. I smirked and continued working on my project. A few times I recall students intentionally doing things to mess up my projects. I learned quick to keep my stuff out of sight. I often would make sure I take everything home that way they had no opportunity to vandalize my work. When it was time to turn in our projects, naturally I would always turn them in early or exactly on time. When it was time to present them or have them returned to us, I would always see a shining A on the front and sometimes a cute sticker. If you looked at my grades in math, science, or history. You would be extremely disappointed in me. Art really is the only thing I was good at.
The high school years weren't very much different from the middle school years. The only thing that changed was the fact that everyone was taller, older and they were 10x the amount of asshole they were in middle school. I decided to challenge myself by doubling up on art classes. I really didn't want to do anything else but art so it became my focus. Art projects were a breeze. I considered those instant A's. In fact, I think my teachers gave me A's without really questioning the grade because my work ethic was consistent each project. I never really think about the techniques or styles I'm using in my art. I just kind of eyeball it and call it as I go. I like the journey of the art process. To me, it shouldn't be an equation or exact formula. It should flow naturally and evolve. What your concept start as, should never end exactly how you imagined it would be, it should be a million times better!
Despite getting such high grades on my art projects, high school introduced a whole other aspect to the art world that I was minimally familiar with, art history. I was already really horrible at regular history, so why would I be any better at art history. I gave myself a little hope. I had a good foundation on art so learning the history of it shouldn't be too hard. Boy, was I wrong. Now, in reality art history is extremely simple. Discuss a time span of art and all of the artists involved in that time period. Learn about the most famous, controversial and influential paintings of the century and learn about their meanings on the surface and in depth. Remember what year they were made, answer some questions about what certain aspects of art represent. Give your own interpretations etc... but when there's so much to discuss and remember, I was in deep. Suddenly I went from having A's in art to C's. I would get A's on my projects and F's on my tests. This was the turning point in my art career. I got it in my head that if I didn't have an A in art anymore, then I wouldn't be student material for art universities. If I can't excel in high school art history, how would I even drag myself through college level? I could sense my teachers were disappointed with me when they saw that I couldn't achieve greatness with the testing. As my grades slipped from the exams, I think my projects began to slack as well. I was in a state of depression and my senior year was awful. I had missed so many days of school that without a doctors slip for each day missed, I would have been denied the option to graduate. There was no way in hell I was repeating senior year, so I got my shit together and I just tried my best. I still failed my art history exams but my projects made up for it.
At this same point in my life computers were very important to me. I was getting heavily involved with chatting on forums, playing text based RPG games, and even playing MMORPG games. Now, my library of gaming is much larger, but back then it was limited to Neopets, Marapets, Gaia Online, Kingdom of Loathing and World of Warcraft.
I consider myself to be very computer savvy. When I have an issue, I can usually take care of the problem myself through the power of google and just already knowing how to navigate through my OS etc... I was constantly creating graphics and making small websites for myself. I wanted to learn how to use different programming scripts and languages. My personal art history and my new found passion for computers put me at my crossroads for college. Did I want to go to school for traditional art, IT or web design or graphic design? I knew I wanted art in my life and also computers, so I settled for Digital Art. It incorporates the creative design I wanted to experience while also relying on the coding for websites and flash etc... As college took me head on with the core topics of my field I quickly learned what I liked and disliked. I liked 3D Animation, but was horrible at it so I knew that was not my path. Sorry Pixar. Web Design came really easy for me, but due to my lack of knowing other script languages, I find that my websites are too basic and they look out dated (in my opinion) so I decided I didn't want to create web sites anymore. Now, I found myself loving branding, logo design and creating digital art. I am horrible at painting, always have been and always will be, so creating digital paintings that blow people away is probably something I'll never accomplish to the extent that I want to see myself at. I'm very hard on myself when I fail at something and if I can't get the hang of it right away, I avoid it completely. This is probably bad for me, but whatever. It's how I work.
So I went from a crappy 3.2 GPA in high school to managing a 3.8 - 4.0 throughout my entire 2 year college life.
I was Student of the Month and I racked up a nice amount of money in grants and scholarships to pay for half of my total tuition. I had a really nice internship right before graduation and I started helping out a local business with graphic design while also working on some freelance here and there. This however, was not enough money to pay the bills so I started cleaning at a car dealership. I hated that so much, you have no idea. I was unemployed for a while and then I began waitressing at a restaurant. I loved this job. I thought it was going to be another dead end for me, but I was making bank as a waitress. We were a small Friendly's but part of a huge chain company. I made enough money to pay my bills and support the things I wanted to buy. Sadly, the restaurant was shut down when the company filed bankruptcy to remove its unprofitable stores, old stores etc... We were very profitable despite our size but because we were the smallest store in the company, they wiped us out. So here I was, once again, jobless. Shortly I began working at my current job and I've been there for over a year now and I plan to stay there for a lot longer.
So when asked where do I see myself in 10 years, in high school I would have never imagined it would be this life, but I like my life and I'm okay with how it's turning out. I thought I would be working in a high prime graphic design company creating logos, product packaging designs, t shirt designs you name it. But no, it's more just a casual hobby now. Have I given up on my life long dreams? No, never. I'm just in a place of comfort with what I'm doing and when the time comes for me to blossom and express myself through art again, that time will come. We are constantly evolving and life itself is an art process. What I expected my life to be as a kid, will not and should not go exactly according to plan.
So I ask myself now, where do I see myself in 10 years? Well... I see myself and my boyfriend having our own apartment or house, depending on if we have different job incomes or if we live in a different area. I can see myself either staying at my current job or rising up in a higher position or eventually getting my foot in the door for an actual job opportunity in my field. If you know me, you'll know that I don't have a permit or a license. This burden really puts a roadblock on opportunities for me, but my life has worked out fantastically without adding the costs of a car, car payment, insurance and such, so when the time comes where I want to have it or need it, it will get done. For now, I'm enjoying walking to work. It's a 2 minute walk. So, I have it pretty good. But in 10 years, I can see myself finally having a driving license and driving to a job. If I'm still at my current job, I'll still walk. I'm not sure if my boyfriend and I will be married then, because it's not really something we talk about. We're both paying off our college loans (we actually met in college) and we're just slowly learning how to be adults. Working and enjoying ourselves are really the two things we care about right now, and I think the rest will follow when the time comes. So in ten years, I'll have to make another blog about this topic.
I created this blog because my mom had asked me over facebook if I was content with not having a job in my field. I told her I was completely happy and that I'm fine with how my life is as long as I can pay my bills and buy the things I want. I feel that being happy is the ultimate task and lesson in life. So if you aren't happy, do what it takes to be happy.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
0 comments