Ok this is gonna be a long post. So you might wanna get yourself a drink or something. 
Here we go...

So I was browsing Facebook as one does, you know the drill and it did not take long for me to find something that got under my skin. I'd like to thing I don't really get personally offended by anything but I notice many things that would make "society" offended. But I feel like I'm on the short stick of the bunch on this one. It seems like most people were taking the opposite side.

So I saw this picture on Facebook and the general reaction at the time was mostly people agreeing with the man. As the picture circulates more people are expressing their opinion about the very things I'm about to say. Assumptions.

I know that there are a fair share of people out there who probably abuse government assistance. I'm sure people very meticulously find loopholes and tricks to "beat the system" to have an easy life. And while it might piss you off that they're getting that assistance and you aren't despite the fact that you may also be struggling - you do realize that you have the option to step down from your spot and lower yourself to where they are and play their game right beside them. What's that... it's not moral? Okay so if everyone in the class is taking a text and Suzy is cheating on her test, you have the option to cheat on yours, but cheating is bad. Suzy never gets caught for cheating, and you're jealous because you wish you could cheat but you'd feel guilty for cheating because you know its wrong and it pisses you off that she gets the cheat while you uphold your good morals and take your test correctly. The same thing applies to the rest of us who buy our groceries instead of shoplifting. To those of us who pay taxes instead of evading the IRS. We all have the option to make the good and moral choice and we also have the choice to deceive and cheat.

What you do with your life results in where you are financially. What decisions you make, what responsibilities you have, what kind of obligations and luxuries you pile up onto your life is all on you. You might be able to live comfortably and you might be struggling. It is all based off of your geographical location and the cost of living in that area. It is also based off of your upbringing and the financial stability of your family and what they were able to provide for you. It is based off of your education and your individual performance. It's based off of your social skills, work environment skills, your job and how you handle your finances. It's based off of so many things that you cannot make a huge generalization on people just because of what they have and don't have.

What I mean is, just because someone is driving a nice car or has nice clothes on and is also on assistance, does not necessarily mean that they used those benefits to acquire those things. Let's take this lady for example.

So because this dude saw her using an EBT card he automatically judges her and casts here down to "scum of the earth." He has no idea what she has been through. None of us do. Maybe she had an abusive husband who ruined her credit score, maxed out credit cards etc... and she had to get rid of her house and live in an apartment. Maybe while they were married she already had this SUV and could afford it but now her money goes to keeping it so that she can support herself and her kids. Or maybe she works a full time job making minimum wage or slightly above and she's struggling like you and I. We don't know what she's gone through, what she's going through, what her past was like or what she does right now, etc... We all have priorities and responsibilities and as we get older and make more money and settle down, we have padding room to add new expenses to our lives. But if shit hits the fan and we get a curve ball in life, sometimes we lose that padding. Some people will never have that padding. Some people are trying to get to a place where they can have that padding. You don't know...

The second thing I'd like to point out is the fact that because she was speaking Spanish suddenly her ethnicity/language speaking is an issue. Does he not realize that there are plenty of people in the US who speak multiple languages? I know many customers who speak English and Spanish and if they're on a phone call with their mother (who does not speak very much English) it's easier for them to talk in Spanish at that given point of time. Or maybe she was talking about something personal and didn't really want to have the surrounding people hear about it due to feeling embarrassed or humiliated. You have no idea what skills this woman has. Not to mention, there are PLENTY of people who are BORN IN THE UNITED STATES WITH PARENTS WHO IMMIGRATED HERE OVER MULTIPLE GENERATIONS. AND you know what... THEY SPEAK MULTIPLE LANGUAGES. So you cannot assume that she just hopped over the border. While it is possible that she immigrated herself to the US, got herself on government benefits, etc... and is taking it easy, you cannot assume that it is the truth. You do not know her. I don't know her. But what i do know is that people aren't always as shitty as you think they are.

I know plenty of people who work their asses off, who don't spend their money wastefully and are still struggling even with the benefits.

And apparently having an SUV means that you're a loaded potato with straps of bills to throw around. FALSE. I know plenty of people who have nice cars and are struggling financially. I also know people who have tacky looking beat down cars who could easily afford a newer one but don't because their current car works just fine and they don't have to make any payments or spend money. YOUR CAR DOES NOT DEFINE YOUR VALUE, YOUR WORTH, YOUR FINANCIAL STATUS, OR WHAT YOU DESERVE.

She may have had this car given to her from her parents because they got something better. Maybe she bought the SUV used because it has a lot of miles on it. Maybe it was a car she had for a while. You don't know the circumstances about her car, where she got it, how she got it, etc...

I mean if you're having trouble affording your car then maybe you should get something different that you can afford. If you're working 7 days a week then maybe you should find a different job. They're out there, I promise. There are plenty of jobs and they pay nicely. You seem like an experienced man who has dabbled in several career fields and know a thing or two about them so moving up shouldn't be too hard for you. I mean after all... you are a middle aged white male. You're essentially the perfect candidate for literally any job even if you don't qualify. See that generalization I just made? 

So instead of worrying about what that lady is doing with her EBT card and her SUV and her Spanish speaking - how about you grow a set of balls and worry about your own life. You're struggling financially? BOO HOO. So is everyone else. So do what you gotta to do stay a float just like the rest of us or if you'd prefer to be in her situation, go right ahead douchenugget.

I know so many people who are struggling financially because they're in this grey area where they don't make enough money to fulfill all of their responsibilities and end up making a lot of sacrifices. Yet, they make too much money to qualify for certain benefits or services. 

Now, I've made blogs in the past where I discuss the things you need and life VS the things you choose to have. The things you need are water, food, shelter. Anyone with a job should be able to afford that. But the types of shelter and food vary and may put you under. When you add things like cars, children, phones, internet service, credit card payments, loan payments, etc... those are optional  things that you at some point chose to take on in life. Life did not demand those things for your survival, but more so your comfort and entertainment. And maybe at one point you could afford all of those things and now you can't. Sometimes this is the individuals fault because they cannot manage their budget properly or it's just the way society operates and the prices going up vs wages going up.

But honestly, that's a whole other blog.

My point is - we all have the life we were given. Some individuals are blessed more than others from birth and others become very blessed through several generations of hard work where they built a sustained amount of wealth. Some people start from the bottom and work their way to the top through hard work and perseverance. Some people just hit a jack pot or get lucky. And others just ride the comfortable wave their whole lives. Some people, including myself, live on the line of comfortable and struggling. Then just below that is struggling but if you cut out unnecessary things you will make ends meet and be ok. Then you have those who are struggling even after cutting out everything possible. Then you have those who have nothing either because of their poor decision making or maybe they're homeless veterans etc... 

You can get jealous and covet over others all you want, but it will not improve your own situation. And just because you see someone else with something better or different than what you have, does not mean that their life is better or any easier  than yours is. Please take this as an example that you cannot judge a book by its cover. There is so much history and story and context within a person and their life and until you know the back story of a person, you cannot assume what they are and what they should or shouldn't have.

There are plenty of BAD people in the world who have it all. If you measure wealth in the cars you drive, the clothes you wear, and the amount of food you can buy, then your ties with happiness are in the wrong place. Happiness is delivered internally from within. I can't tell you how many times I've seen things that I wanted and wanted and wanted and eventually I cave in and buy them. For a short moment of time I'm excited that I finally made the purchase. The item gets here. I devote time and energy into that product and soon enough I realize that I didn't really need it and my desire for it  wasn't that strong and that fulfillment of desire only lasted for a few minutes and now it's just another item that is in my home. It's not worthless and I still use it, but that magical moment was so short lived and if I were to have those things suddenly disappear, I know that I would not feel at a loss. Therefore, it was not necessary for me to buy. I've come to the understanding that happiness cannot be delivered from the material world. It can temporarily fill voids and distract us. It can release endorphins into our body to give us that happy-high. But that true happiness, that is deeply nested in the world comes from memories, relationships, the sentimental value behind the items, the hard work put into the things we create as well as the understanding that everything is temporary and will come to an end. That is what makes everything so precious.

If you are reading this, I hope that your life is full of blessings. I hope you can look inward and around you and see what blessings you have in your life. It may not seem like you are blessed, but I guarantee there is something in your life that others don't have or wish they had just like you wish what someone else may have. You know how hard you have worked for what you have and you do not owe anyone any explanation for the things you have & you do not need validation or confirmation and acceptance to feel deserving of what you have. Do not feel incomplete or worthless if you are not where you want to be in life. Continue to be better than you were yesterday and work hard today to make tomorrow better. Love yourself and love others around you.

And most of all - be kind - be empathetic - be patient - be compassionate - be positive.