If you have read my previous blogs you will already be familiar with the female health issues I've been having. If you have not read my previous blogs and you're curious as to wtf is going on, feel free to browse. Anywho, here is a quick timeline of wtf has been going on.

January: got my period several times
February: got my period several times.
March: went to the doctor about said issue, had std tests (negative), preg test (negative)
also got ultra sound done (discovered polyp within thy self)

So let's fast forward into the future here real quick.
On April 9th I have a pre op appointment to get Poochi the Polyp (I named him hurrrdurrrr) removed on April 15th.

Okay now rewind back to now, today.
So in March I went to the doctors for several things and we discovered what is causing me to have my period multiple times a month. Now here is the twist. In the entire month of March I did not get my period a single time. Polyps cause irregular bleeding in terms of causing you to bleed more frequently than normal. I don't recall being told that they can also stop your period altogether. So now I wonder if something else is going on. How fast do polyps grow? How much damage can they do and how fast do they do it?

Today is April 1st. And guess what came finally. My period. On April 1st. This is not a joke.
Over the last week I have been cramping and getting sore and every time I would go to bathroom I'd eagerly check to see if I had my period. I would even be walking around and feel like I magically began bleeding. Yet, every time I went to check...nothing. I called this my Phantom Period. You hear stories of women who have phantom pregnancies. Well I felt like I had my period but it was invisible. I had the ovary pains, the cramps, everything. Just no blood, no bloodclots, no sore breasts nothing. Then today at work, finally, I started bleeding. Normally when my period first starts it's just a light pink with some spotting here and there. Then the 2nd day it builds up, the 3rd and 4th day it's really heavy and then the 5th day it slow down and the 6th and 7th day it's practically gone for the most part. It's the first day and it's already building itself into the 3rd day. 

Half of me is relieved that I have my period and the other half of me is pissed off.
Why April 1st of all days. It's this mother natures cruel humor? Like...c'mon seriously bro? :/

So when I go to my appointment on April 9th. I will discuss all of this nonsense with my doctor that way they understand all of my symptoms and body changes. My body is retarded.
I'd like a refund please and thank you.

Can't believe I got my fucking period on April 1st. SERIOUSLY?!? FUUUUUUUUUU.

On a good note. I have chocolate. I also bought menstrual pain relief for the first time. I never take anything for my cramps cuz I'm a tough chick yo. Not really, but I do tolerate a lot of pain and I try to avoid medication when possible. But my ovaries hurt so much right now, I bought something. If I weren't so young, I'd beg the doctor to just rip out my ovaries now. But my mom told me that when you remove your lady bits it messes with your hormones and your femininity diminishes. I'm sorry but I love my boobs way too much to let those puppies decline at age 24. I also don't want a beard or wrinkles or grey hair yet. When I'm an old lady, I'll gladly accept the fact of aging. But I'm 24, let me live mother nature. PLEASE. Ain't nobody got time for that.