Kids seem like such a bundle of joy. When I see friends getting pregnant and taking pregnant photos with their significant other before they baby is born along with seeing the after pictures of them holding their beautiful baby daughter or son, I feel happiness and joy for them. Sometimes I think oh that would be neat to do if I ever wanted children. From time to time I do think of how my life would be if I settled down and started a family of my own and what my children would be like. What kind of people would they turn into? What kind of job would they get? Where in this world would they want to live and would they want to get married and have children? But several moments after this beautifully painted picture is in my thoughts it is washed away with all of the reasons why I don't currently have kids and why I don't want kids or plan on having any. Should there ever be a situation where my boyfriend and I slip up and I get pregnant, I will then take on the responsibility of becoming a parent with 100% dedication out of obligation and repercussion of my actions. However, in the 5+ years that we've been dating, we have avoided that fate and I pray we continue to do so.

All the time my family, friends and co-workers pester me about when my boyfriend and I are planning on getting married and when we're going to have any kids and it gets a little irritating. I'm sorry, I didn't realize there was a formula to life and that everyone had to follow the same cookie cutter lifestyle as everyone else. So, my response to them is always the same and some people are curious as to why? So here are the reasons why I don't want children.

1. I am terrified of getting pregnant. I cannot fathom having something growing inside of me like a parasite of some kind. As soon as you get pregnant you literally have to change your entire lifestyle, schedule, diet etc... being an adult is hard enough as it is, taking on that challenge is something I just refuse to take a dive in.

2. My body is broken. Obviously I have never tried to get pregnant so I really have no idea if I am fertile or not. I assume I can get pregnant but I'm not going to try. My lady parts have several issues which if you know me or have read my other blogs you'd know that the va-jay-jay isn't 100% awesome for me. With these things in mind, I just feel like I'm physically not capable of hosting another within me.

3. With the whole lifestyle thing in mind, once you have a baby your "free time" goes out the window. Sure, some parents might be all like "oh no no no, my baby IS my free time, I enjoy spending time with my baby." You say that with honest intentions but I'm 100% sure that there was a time such as 3am or 4am when all you wanted to do was sleep but you couldn't because your baby would not shut the hell up. Every mother probably experiences some sort of "I wish my baby would help me out" kind of number. When you have a baby, you lose sleep, you have to give up going places or participating in certain activities. You have to change the way you present yourself in order to provide a good example to your children along with other adults around you. You have to make sure that you have the finances for a baby and a babysitter/daycare (which I hear is NOT cheap AT ALL) etc...
My lifestyle consists of simple things. Working. Gaming. Eating. Sleeping. Misc. If I had to sum my life up in only a few words, those would be it. If I am not doing one of those things. I'm probably dead and you should call 911. By misc, I mean errands, stuck in traffic, going to the bathroom or taking a shower, waiting in line at the movie theater etc...

4. When a woman becomes pregnant she eventually has to cut down on her work and/or take personal leave for extended periods of time before she has the baby, during labor and after to take care of the baby before she has recovered. Now, if you work with me you will know that I don't call off work even if I'm sick. There are times where I leave early or switch my days around but generally I never request off etc... if I had a baby I would be gone for 6 months. The sheer thought of that is making my head want to explode because I can barely handle being gone for a day without things stacking up and if I were gone that long I'm pretty sure everyone at work would drag me in with baby in hand.

5. Another lifestyle thing is that I play a lot of video games. These video games sometimes don't have pause buttons where I can just pause, afk and go do other things before returning where I left off. A lot of these games are real-time where I have to be active in order for everything to go smoothly. These games often require several other people and so those people are relying on me as I am them. If I had a baby to take care of, I would have to quit the games I play in order to avoid neglecting that baby.

6. I'm lazy. I am so lazy. I work hard at work but when I'm at home, I am lazy as hell. To put things into perspective. We all take turns with chores around the house. We each have our own little chore or we chip in with other ones collectively. My specific chore is doing laundry and I personally have so many clothes that I could probably go a month without washing them. My boyfriend however isn't very materialistic and so his arsenal of clothing is very minimal and so he needs his stuff washed pretty much every week. Sometimes I wait to the last possible day to do laundry because I'd much rather be doing things I want to do versus what I should do. If I had a baby I can't be lazy. I can't put the baby off to the side and be like brb, I'll feed you tomorrow. The baby would come first and foremost and I'm sorry but I'm selfish and it's a chore enough to take care of myself. I don't want to make it tenfold.

7. Babies are annoying. Sure they're cute and fun to dress up and buy things for but they're annoying. I don't mind holding a friends baby for 10 minutes or babysitting a toddler/kid for a few days but I don't think I could handle one full time for 18 years. Uhhh, no. They're constantly screaming and since they can't talk it's hard to initially tell what they want or need until you recognize the signals of that babies personal behaviors. I imagine that's not too hard but it's easy for me to get a headache and I'm sure a baby would give me plenty. Children are loud. They're annoying. They're immature, inconsiderate, ignorant, messy, etc... Kids will be kids and sure kids don't know any better but I'm pretty sure every parent has experienced a situation in public where their kid KNEW better than to do something but did it anyways because they felt like it, thought it was funny or was trying to get their way some how in some form. Kids have the option to be quiet in the store or loud in the store and it's like an on or off switch. It's not that they don't know how to shut the hell up, but they saw that candy they want and because mommy said now the switch gets flicked and they turn into a miniature asshole. Kids have this sense of a "know it all." Arguing with kids is pointless because they either won't understand what you're trying to explain or they won't believe and and most cases will result in them being pissed off at you and/or crying. Making kids cry is shitty but sometimes they need to know the truth and be put in their place. Parents also are semi responsible for having shitty kids because of their parenting/punishment/behavior and overall attitude towards themselves, their children and the people around them. If you're an asshole, your child is going to be one as well. Monkey see monkey do. If you say shit, your child will say shit and then you will get a phone call from their teachers wondering where they learned this word and who they got it from and you will lie and say that they were watching MTV and someone swore and now you blocked the channel when really you and your husband were in the kitchen bitching about something in the basement and now you're "tired of this shit."

8. Children are expensive. I wouldn't define myself as the poorest of poor people but you don't see me strolling out of a mansion with a Porsche in my yard and a private jet. I live comfortably meaning I can pay my bills and buy stupid shit if I want to. Apparently parents spend over $1,000,000 of money on their children over a course of their lifetime. That is ridiculous. Like I'm sorry but  I can't afford that. Pacifiers, bottles, wipes, diapers, medication, clothes, more clothes because their fat ass grows out of them etc.... Too much to think about. I just want to pay my bills, go out to dinner, buy a game or something here and there and know that I'm the only person that I need to fend for.

9. Kids require a lot of attention. From being a baby to a pre-teen you pretty much spend all of your free time with your children via playing with them and taking care of them, helping them with stuff, escorting them to places and supervising them. Once they become a teen they're so fused to their computers and phones that you really don't need to worry about them anymore except for maybe them looking at porn and/or getting pregnant and doing drugs and stuff. But hopefully you're a responsible parent and you prevent them from having access to those things and/or educate them on the dangers of those things and hope that they're smart enough to make the right decisions. But generally kids that age can fend for themselves a bit more. They can get their own drinks and heat up food in the microwave and they can go outside and safely cross a street etc... whereas little kids need constant entertainment and fascination and require a little more supervision when outside or at friends houses etc... I like solitude and silence. I like being alone and being left alone. I'm generally independent and I don't like much interference. If I had a baby/child, they'd be in here all the time asking me this wanting that and ugh it would be so annoying.

10. I don't have the desire for kids. Clearly you can see that my attitude towards kids is that I could probably handle one but I don't want one and if you don't have the will or desire to take care of a baby, you won't take care of it and then that baby will just live a broken life. Because I am aware of my lack of motherly nature, I know that I should not give birth to a child and put them in a situation that could lead me to jail or lead them to death, an orphanage etc... If you cannot take care of a baby/child and provide everything it needs and do it properly, don't do it all. Too many people jump into certain chapters of the book of life without reading the disclaimers and taking a look at themselves beforehand. At least I can acknowledge my selfish ways and my faults and I can access myself as a person and know 100% to avoid that situation.

11. Too many kids have shitty parents or lack parents. I myself had a single mother, with no father in my life to take responsibility for his portion of raising me. No child support, no physical contact or interaction etc... I'm actually thankful for not having him in my life because of who he is personally. However, I feel that too many children are in a position where they lack one half of their parents or parents completely. I feel like a lot of children are born into poverty either because women were careless with lovers, they were raped and the children weren't wanted, or maybe the woman realized she can't handle the responsibility/afford the baby and gave it up for adoption etc... Regardless of the reason and nature for why a child was abandoned or neglected, the point is that there are so many children who need parents. Why create a child from nothing when there are already TONS of children already living and growing up who need parents. IF I ever had the desire to have kids I would probably avoid getting pregnant and just adopt a child that needs a good home and family. I feel like there would be a lot more to cherish in situation like that. Not only would a child's dream come true but as a parent I would be able to avoid the whole being pregnant thing and seeing someone else becoming totally excited about something so simple would be inspiring.

12. The final reason for why I do not want to have children is because our world is a shitty place. It has its beauty and amazing qualities but it also has a lot of crappy qualities and with the way the world is headed I do not want to raise someone and put them in a situation where they will experience extreme suffering and/or early death. I can only imagine that as the years go on and I go through more of my adult years, society will become shittier and shittier. Perhaps more wars will break out, new diseases will spread, maybe a meteor will wipe us out or God will finally bring on the end of times. Whatever the case may be, I don't think it would be right for me to bring someone into this world only to set them up for disaster. Imagine how shitty it would be if the world is ending and you're like 6 years old and you have no clue what the hell is going on. All you know is that you're scared and you've been cheated out of everything you wanted to do in life. Sure maybe you were only able to think of wanting a pink pony, being able to fly and getting a new bike for Christmas but all of those infant dreams a child acquires would be destroyed. Sure, perhaps the world or something catastrophic might not occur until long after we're all dead and generations after generations have come and passed but tying back into reason 11, I just don't feel right bringing someone new into this world when there are plenty of others who need taken care of first. It's no different than a car company making thousands of cars but thousands don't sell and instead of selling those cars til there are none left, they just come out with a new model. Sure the old models are still available but now they're an older model, they lose value, they become used or they aren't relevant anymore. An orphan is the same thing. A set of humans creates the baby, gets rid of the baby and that baby bounces around here and there until it either finally lands into a final destination aka home or it spends its entire life bouncing around from dead end to dead end until they're finally an adult. Then at that point that adult lacks so much experience, nurture, understanding and education on LIFE that it doesn't really know how to live or it ends up making poor choices like committing crime, abuse, rape, suicide, a dead end life, drugs etc...


These are the basic reasons as to why I don't want to have kids. I'm sure a few things I've said have been offensive to some but it is my opinion and my stand on this matter and you are free to hate me for it. However, please be aware that at least I am responsible enough to not get myself into something I don't want to or can't handle.

As a public service announcement to anyone reading this. If you are sexually active and not intentionally looking to get pregnant, please be safe. If you are looking to get pregnant check yourself first. Can you handle the heat? Can your wallet handle the heat? Can the woman or man next to you promise to provide the same dedication and effort as you? If there are little red flags in anything that are telling you that you shouldn't have a baby, please don't put that baby in jeopardy and keep your legs shut, thank you. If you have a baby, please be a good parent to that baby and raise it fashionably into a responsible and mature teenager/adult. Be a good example to them and provide education to them. Let them make mistakes, but help them get back up after falling down. Support them in their aspirations and guide them to a positive and healthy lifestyle but don't shove your personal beliefs down their throats as they are their own individuals and can live how they want to. If you are selfish like me and you value your own life, time, schedule and money for yourself, please do not have kids.
If you are considering having kids but you can't get pregnant or you don't want to get pregnant or if you want to be a nice person please consider adopting a child who needs a family before creating one from your body.