Being an average girl has its ups and downs and I'd like to share with you all the downs of being an average girl. These are definitely first world problems, so don't take this too seriously. They are just small things that I deal with personally that I think most average girls or girls period can relate to.


001. Thick Thigh Gurl
I'd consider myself to have an athletic build and I spent many childhood summers riding my bike for hours upon hours. This allowed me to gain massive lower body strength in my legs & so my legs are generally thicker than girls who aren't active. Add a small abundance of fat to that and I can classify myself as a thick thigh girl. The problem with thick thighs is simply this. Any time I purchase a pair of pants I usually have to replace them within a few months, not because they stop fitting me but because the inner thigh material deteriorates and develops holes. This is caused from my thunder thighs rubbing up against each other. In school this barely happened because I spent most of the day sitting. However, my job requires me to be on the move almost 24/7 therefore my pants get worn out quickly.

002. Clothes Shopping Sucks!
Being an average girl I would classify myself as not being fat but not being skinny either. I'm an awkward combination of chubby, athletic and slightly masculine all jumbled into my body. Because of not being fat or skinny shopping for clothes can be a little irritating. This is mostly because clothing companies obviously gear their products towards anorexic girls. Yes, most clothing stores have my size or sizes that fit me but they're always magically out of stock online or everyone bought out what I like at the store. So I'll usually end up buying a size too big or a size too small for me. If they do have my size, when I select my size, it's usually crafted in a way where it's either too big or too small anyways. I cannot recall there ever being a time where something fit me PERFECTLY. I can't be the only one with this issue!

003. You're Fat, You're Ugly, You're Beautiful.
Throughout my life girls who are prettier and skinnier than me have looked down on me and told me that I'm ugly, I'm fat and that a whale like me should commit suicide and that my parents must be ashamed of having to spend money on a gelatinous burden. However, I've also had handfuls of people say the complete opposite. Oh, you're so skinny, your body is perfect, you're so beautiful, how do you stay so thin? And not to be rude, but typically someone who looks better than you will probably look down on you or put themselves above you and someone who looks worse than you will praise you and put down themselves or anyone beneath them. It's the totem pole of being a woman and a human being in general. Get judged & judge others. Regardless of how nice you are to people, down inside we're constantly judging ourselves and each other and one end of the spectrum thinks you're the hottest thing to walk on this planet & the other half wants to vomit when they see you within walking distance. So whether you're an average girl, a bombshell model or the ugly duckling of the family tree, we're constantly grading and degrading each other and ourselves.

004. Love yourself, hate yourself.
This ties in with 003 a bit in terms of perceiving your body and who you are. We've all heard the classic phrase of what you look like on the outside isn't important, it's what inside that matters. We love uplifting quotes that make us feel invincible and empowered like the world is ours and we run this shit like we're all walking Beyoncé's. However, no matter how many inspiring quotes you read, how much weight you shed off, how many physical changes you go through to better your appearance, you're still going to hate yourself. Everyone will tell you to love yourself and you'll believe that you love yourself. Sometimes you genuinely DO love yourself. On days where I feel like I look amazing, I get in the mood to dress up, maybe snap a selfie. When I feel pretty, I tend to be more social, more willing to greet and interact with others. Whereas on a day where I feel like I look like shit, I might not say much to anyone about anything and I just wanna crawl into a hole and hide til I feel pretty again. Every day people compliment us on how good we look and all we can think on the inside is oh god I hope they're not looking at my acne or my greasy hair or whatever the case may be. Imagine you're walking somewhere and you feel like all eyes are on you and when you got up and got ready for school or work everything was fine but then half way through the day you look in the mirror in the bathroom and you notice something you don't like or something embarrassing and suddenly a giant mental bomb crashes down on your psyche and you think back to figure out if everyone who looked at you saw it and focused on that instead of what you were talking about. This is a constant struggle for girls and guys. And you might not notice the things that we're stressing about on the inside when you're on the outside perspective. That person you're talking to might be smiling and nodding to you but inside they're FREAKING OUT about feeling fat because they ate a donut and drank a soda instead of having water and a salad and how you're looking at them thinking they're fat when you might not even notice or give a fuck. But no matter what people say, how you feel, how you think you look, how others think you look etc.... you're always going to hate yourself. As people strive for perfection, I feel like the ascension to perfection is a flaw within itself because you stress and weaken yourself to reach unobtainable standards which often put you down further than where you started before you began obsessing over it. Now, I've personally never had problems having guys in my life. There's always guys who show interest in me, be it for sexual reasons or legit relationship interests. I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world, but to them I am one of them. It's a good feeling to know that despite all of your flaws, people out there can't see them and can't understand why you hate yourself when they love you and worship you. But even with a guy who loves you 100% for who you are and what you look like, you still will forever feel the need to doll yourself up, to maximize your appearance and impression even if the guy could care less if you didn't shave your legs, didn't wear make up and had pajamas on at 3pm in the afternoon.

005. The Skinny Friend, The Fat Friend
I'm sure we've all been in situations where we're out somewhere in public with our friends and YOU just happen to be the skinniest of the group or worse, the fattest. Now, you and your friends are having a great time and nobody is pointing out that you're the chubby monkey or the walking toothpick. But then someone outside of your group, maybe a guy or another group of girls notices you and your friends and either, show positive body language to them and exclude you OR they show you negative body language and exclude them. Or maybe you're with your friends and you start looking at your friends and comparing yourself to them and you realize that you don't look as good as them. All of your friends are in halter tops and shorts and you're wearing the hoodie and leggings. Or maybe you're skinnier than the bigger group of girls you're with and suddenly you feel like top shit because they're all fatter than you so now all of the attention is drawn positively towards you and negatively towards them. I think every girls fear at a club/bar scene is being with her friends and being the one that gets ignored, made fun of or stands out in a bad way from the others. And some people can be content with being grouped with people of various sizes or one extreme to another. Some people are so confident that this realization completely eludes them and their group so that feeling of judgement and comparison is non-existent. That is a great feeling and those are the friends you should surround yourself with, btw! However, some people aren't as confident and are actually extremely insecure. Some people are constantly judging themselves and others and some people take it to the extreme by hanging out with people who look worse than them so that they can feel uplifted and justified. This is not something I suggest you do, because it's really douchey but if that's what it takes to love yourself then hopefully your friends don't catch on.

006. Losing weight, Gaining weight.
Being an average girl means that you probably have some fat but you aren't overweight. You could probably lose weight and feel better about yourself but losing weight isn't at the top of your priorities and isn't dire to feeling good about yourself. But like I said before, you still hate yourself so losing weight is always an option or desired effect of whatever you're doing. I personally have a specific problem in terms of weight gain and weight loss. I love my boobs. I cherish my boobs more than I think a mother cherishes her children. I'm kidding but I seriously do love my boobs and you should love yours, too! So basically, if I eat like a fat fuck, I gain weight but not in boobs, in my stomach, back and thigh areas. This is because of genetics and feminine rules that our bodies decide to control when we hit puberty. It sucks, but what can you do. However, when I lose weight. I might lose some weight in those target areas but I also lose weight in my boobs. I get somewhat discouraged and maybe even sad/depressed if I notice my boobs aren't fitting my bras as well. So then I feel like I need to gain weight to get that back, but then when I gain weight I hate myself because I gained weight. So there's just this vicious cycle. Do I sacrifice my amazing boobs to possibly hate myself less .00001% than I did? Or do I keep my boobs and hate myself 10% more because I gained weight. And even if I do make the sacrifice, I'll hate myself for making the sacrifice regardless of losing weight IF I manage to lose weight. Magazines and media control our images and how we feel we need to look and should look otherwise the equations of life and love and happiness will crumble at our feet into millions of fragments. Then another part of life tells us that we should ignore all of that and love ourselves and be proud of whatever shape and size we are. But it's not that simple when there are literally missiles of judgement flying at you from every direction in all different sizes. 

These are some thoughts that ran through my mind over the last few days from hearing conversations between fellow girls and personal struggles. These aren't JUST problems that "average girls" deal with but any girl and even guys, too. If you can relate to this, let me know! Share with me your own first world average girl problems.